World Cup Wonder: Soccer Should Exist in U.S. More than Once Every 4 Years

Was that brief period of excitement about the U.S. soccer team another demonstration of Americans’ imperialistic nature, or the beginning of a beeeeaaa-uutiful relationship?

Every four years or so (purely by coincidence), I’ve follow the sport of soccer. The fascination typically lingers for a few weeks and then quickly dissipates after a month or so (purely by coincidence). This year was different. Thanks to some of my friends who have a legitimate interest in and passion for the sport (read: who actually follow it more often than every fourth summer), I’ve watched more soccer during the past two weeks than during the entirety of my 26 years. It really is an engaging and exciting sport. Really.

Soccer’s recent fleeting presence in the American sporting arena was both predictable and disconcerting. It was gone so fast I didn't even have a chance to make one blog post . . . or even a "headed to the Nomad" Twitter post. Only a select few U.S. residents are true soccer crazies, and only a few more have jumped on the bandwagon. Soccer is not popular in America (what a revelation, right?). I’m not even sure a majority of Americans know how the game is played . . . or that the World Cup is even taking place. We are a bunch of soccer haters. Even Microsoft is in on it – spell check is telling me there is something wrong with the word “fútbol.” It doesn’t slap that annoying red line under “résumé” or “adios.” A little respect, please.

I am anything but a soccer expert and am certainly not qualified to argue its pros and cons and place in America. I have, however, made some noteworthy observations during the past two weeks’ worth of World Cup action that I would like to share in an effort to at least suggest consideration for adopting soccer into our sporting hearts:

1. The pure excitement. Although the final score may be determined in literally one second, each of the 90 or so minutes of a game is therefore engaging. A goal can be scored and a team’s fate sealed at any moment, so every moment counts. Do not mistake me for bad-mouthing America’s pastime, but in a soccer match there are at least 11 men constantly in action, setting up plays and hustling to balls hurling toward the end- or sidelines – all to score that fateful goal. Isn’t that more exciting than watching at least 11 men scratch themselves in the dugout? OK, OK, baseball is baseball and I won’t mess with it. I also acknowledge that, during that 90-plus minutes of soccer action, the same strapping and hustling men also occasionally nancy around holding their calves, heads, or whatever after merely brushing up against another player. Nonetheless, there is an art and thrill to the game that I have found captivating.

2. The uniforms. I know, we all hate the middle-aged chick in the office NCAA Tourney pool who can’t even spell Gonzaga, but wins the whole darn thing because her Final Four had the “prettiest outfits.” I, like every other college hoop sucker . . .er, fan. . .out there think I’m a genius and pick based on my basketball “knowledge.” In this case, though, I have to play the pretty jersey card; I think soccer jerseys are some of the coolest in all of sports. A friend of mine introduced this topic at our U.S. soccer team post-mortem on Saturday. Granted, the beverages may have made the conversation seem more captivating than it really is, but hear me out. I like me a good football jersey to layer up come fall, and nothing feels better than a worn ball cap and pristine white Brewers jersey in the bleachers on a sunny summer evening. . .but there’s something about those fútbol unis. Maybe it’s the sociologist in me that is fascinated by the various cultures materialized in the fabric donned by their representatives on the world’s stage. Or maybe it’s the bright, shiny colors. Whatever it is, they’re just cool. And special thanks to Adidas and Puma for form-fitting jerseys . . . yum. Nike, there is room for improvement; I’ll be looking forward to your craftsmanship in 2014.

3. The commentators. Listening to some dude with a Scottish accent sizing up a Phil Mickelson putt drives me nuts. That barely-audible whisper is maddening; I always wish some dude in the gallery would yell, “Don’t chunk it!” one of these times. Anyhow, a similar brogue during a soccer match is charming to me. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the culture thing again. It’s also because these guys say what they think – and react to what’s going on in the field of play. There are no Joe Bucks plugging their networks, celebrity name-dropping, or tippy-toeing around questionable calls to suck up to the league. No, these guys say what you’re thinking at home, and then teach you a thing or two about the game.

4. The celebration. Who knew it would be so fun to yell “GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL” at the top of your lungs?

5. The Vuvuzelas. Even some true soccer buffs can’t stand ‘em. I like them – the sound adds a certain character to the game. They outrank cowbells in my book.

Clearly, I saved the most relevant and significant arguments until last. Truth is, there is much, much more to the game itself than the supplements I documented in my 2010 World Cup diary above. For me, these extras just added to the fun of the past couple weeks. Looking ahead, I will certainly be watching the rest of the Cup play out and intend to follow the action across the pond a little more closely. A tiny part of me also hopes the sport gains a bit more footing in America, but I highly doubt this summer’s short-lived soccer “interest” will start a craze, given the domestic league’s shallow talent pool and Americans’ seemingly innate apathy for the sport.

But who knows, if the NFL can’t get its stuff together by next season, there could be a new fútbol in America.